Sunday, August 14, 2016

Swedish Fish Oreos: An Affront to God.




History: The Swedish Fish Oreo was released in August 2016, to a surprising amount of Twitter fanfare. Much like our Republican nominee this year, Oreo has found that the only way to keep attention on itself is by releasing more and more outlandish flavors. “Swedish Fish” is a choice. If you are not familiar, Swedish Fish are gummy candy with a mysterious flavor (wikipedia purports it is ligonberry, but nobody really knows). They're a wine gummy, so they have a firmness to their texture not unlike gumdrops. I'm not a big fan, but will eat them if they're around. Anyway. Their mysterious flavor (and odor) is notably unique. Oreo must have decided that would b an appropriate partner for their classic cookie. They were wrong.

Cookie: Classic chocolaty goodness.

Creme: Sinful. And I don't mean that in a jolly, happy way – like I usually do. These cookies are an affront to God. If you don't believe in God, these will make you believe in God just so you have someone to blame, because their flavor is downright inhuman. Imagine someone melted down a bag of Swedish Fish and served it to you. That's about the best approximation I can make. It is potent beyond all reason, beyond all...god, it's so bad. And the odor is just as awful. You can smell them across the room.

Milk Taste-Test: I didn't even bother.

Gorgeability: I couldn't finish a single Oreo.

Verdict: 1 / 5 – one of the worst Oreos ever released, a stain on the brand.

No comments:

Post a Comment