Monday, September 5, 2016

Halloween Oreo, or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Just Eat Oreos

Halloween Oreo



History:

I do not know what year the Halloween Oreo first came into existence; likely 2008 or 2009, when Oreo started diversifying the line. The whole schtick – Orange + Black = Halloween, woo – is so simple that it may be much older. I think, but cannot verify, that these were the first 'seasonal' variant of the regular Oreo. They remain the best.

My first experience with the Halloween Oreo was 2010, when my relationship Oreo thing really started. My college roommate, Jeff, would always buy Oreos for our apartment (well, for him. I just ate them. Don't worry, I contributed some later on). Halloween Oreos came into my life during that lovely fall, when I started trying every Oreo at the Muncie Meijer. I'm not big into drinking, or socializing, or Muncie, and college up until that point had been a mess of stress, anxiety, and misery, so collecting Oreos was a fun pass-time. It also helped connect me to my sister, Ellen, who was at school 10 hours away and has a similar obsessive affinity to Pop-Tarts. In the hot mess of finding yourself during college, Oreos played a substantial role. 

During the fall of 2010 I also watched every movie starring Guy Pearce up until that point, met my college girlfriend, travelled widely, and found a home with the BSU Anthropology Department. It was a breakthrough year.

It was an important fall. 

That nostalgia is why I always say that the Halloween Oreo is one of my favorite Oreos. Objectively they are precisely the same cookie as regular 1.5x or 2x Stuf Oreos, but with colored creme. But food is not an objective experience. I don't eat Oreos just because I find them delicious; I eat Oreos because they make me happy.  I don't know many of the people I knew back then. Many of the important places have already changed after six years. My world and experiences are completely different. I don't think of them very frequently anymore, but I do when I eat the Halloween Oreos. 

So, I love Halloween Oreos.  You likely don't have the same connection to them; maybe you have a different connection, or no connection at all. But they are a foundational cookie in my Oreo experience, and one that makes me happy to see on store shelves each and every year.

Cookie: A chocolate cookie. The only notable difference is that these Oreos have fancy Halloween designs on them.

Creme: Bright-orange Creme. I think the color makes the crème taste better.

Gorgability: I ate half a pack last night. Remember, two Oreos is a serving, so you should eat twelve at a time.

Verdict: 5/5.





Friday, September 2, 2016

Candy Corn Oreos: Corny Candy Oreos.

Candy Corn Oreos 




History: Candy Corn Oreos first showed up in Fall 2014, and I hated them then. They were re-released this year, and I hate them now. The thing about Candy Corn is that it is, well. It is downright delicious. I love it; a perfect texture, a perfect sugary sweet flavor. It's so good! I can eat Candy Corn by the handful. I can eat Candy Corn until it makes me sick. You would think an Oreo would just be two delicious Oreo cookies with some Candy Corn smooshed between them but...well, read on.

Cookie: Vanilla cookies, the old standby for "exciting flavor requires bland cookie."

Creme: Blandly sweet, much like other strange flavors. So you don't get the proper flavor of Candy Corn. Additionally, the texture is all wrong. Regular Oreo texture just does not manage to convey the pure pleasure of the Candy Corn experience. The aftertaste and, well, after-burp just don't do it any favors either. Might as well eat a jar of sugar.

Milk Taste-Test: No.

Gorgeability: None. Just buy a bag of Candy Corn.

Verdict: 2/5 Oreos.

Pumpkin Spice Oreo: The Delicious Taste of Autumn

Pumpkin Spice Oreo












History: The Pumpkin Spice Oreo first showed up in stores during Fall 2014. I was excited. Pumpkin is a good flavor. It seemed appropriate for Oreo to hop on the bandwagon. Unlike many flavors, it seems Pumpkin Spice Oreo is a permanent seasonal flavor. Few variants have made the leap from temporary to annual; hopefully Caramel Apple manages to do so this year, too.

Cookie: A golden cookie. Perfectly fine as a carrier for the delicious Pumpkin creme. 

Creme: Fake Pumpkin with a distinct hint of cinnamon. It's not as good as, say, Pumpkin Pie, or even as good as Pumpkin coffee drinks, but it's good. Real good. Now that it's been around for a few years, I find it tied to happy fall memories. The right kind of cookie. 

Milk Taste-Test: Pretty great! If I may be so crazy as to suggest it, try dipping these into coffee. 

Gorgeability: Last time I owned them I actually put them into a ziploc so they would keep longer. I savored them. 

Verdict: 3/5 Oreos.