The Double-Stuf Golden Oreo: Nothing Short of a Masterpiece

History: I included a packaging picture on this review because it's so beautiful to me. That splash of pink; that giant, over-stuffed cookie. Fond memories of college, when I first started this Oreo escapade. The Golden Double-Stuf was an obligation; I had to try them all, so I finally bought a package of these just to try them. WOW! While the regular Golden is an underwhelming trash cookie, adding an extra helping of creme turns the whole damn thing around. According to Wikipedia these were first released in August 2009. I first ate them in 2010, so I hopped on this train early. Sweet!

The Golden Double Stuf Oreo

The Cookie: There is no difference from this cookie and the regular Golden oreo. However, its generally bland flavor is perfect for the amount of creme added.

The Creme: Full disclosure: I'm not a big fan of regular Double-Stuf Oreos. I think it's too much per cookie with regards to creme intensity and cookie flavor. However, the Golden Double Stuf is a perfect mixture. The golden Oreo cookie has no basic flavor, so you get the full blast of creme without the cookie added to it. It's a work of beauty.

Milk Taste-Test: Dip them in milk. Dip them in ice creme. Dip them in milkshakes. Dip them in coffee. Dip them in anything creamy.

Gorgability: Back in college, I occasionally ate them for breakfast.

Rating: 5/5. One of the few perfect Oreo cookie products.

Oreo Thins: The One Package Snack

History: The "Oreo Thin" was released in summer 2015. Three variants are available: regular, mint, and golden.

The Oreo Thin

Cookie: Mint & Regular Oreo Thins rely on a half-thick chocolate cookie; Golden relies on a half-thick golden cookie. Golden Thins are as mediocre as Golden Oreos, so we'll just ignore them for the purpose of this review.

My primary concern going into my first Thins experience was that the halved cookies would maintain a strong chocolatey taste, while the halved creme would loose all impact on the flavor of the cookie. Boy, was I wrong. The pleasant surprise about Oreo Thins is that the smaller cookie means less chalky break-up in your mouth (a common problem with regular Oreos), meaning you don't need to brush your teeth after eating an entire package. The flavor is about the same, and the ratio of cookie to creme taste remains consistent. The only downside to Oreo Thins is that they're relatively limited in eating variety; you can't really separate them like a regular Oreo. You can, however, flip them like a coins. So that's cool.

Creme: Either Vanilla or Mint. Both carry their weight, but I want to highlight Mint. The Mint Oreo Thin is the closest we have to an adequate Thin Mint replacement 11 months out of the year. An all-around all-star mint snack cookie.

Milk Taste-Test: The harder consistency of the Oreo Thin means that it doesn't break apart in milk the same way that regular Oreos do. However, they're not really made for dipping. They'd work well as a garnish for an ice cream sundae.

Gorgability: Of course you should gorge these. They're made smaller so you can eat a regular serving and feel less gluttonous. HAHAHA. Now that they're bite-sized, eating an entire package is easier. And less guilt-inducing! Do it to it.

Rating: 4 for Mint, 3 for Regular, 2 for Golden.

Limeade Oreos: The Best of 2014

History: The Limeade Oreo was first made available in late summer 2014. I had a lot of luck finding them throughout the remainder of that autumn in other markets, notably Columbus, OH, and Muncie, IN, which were actually the only other two places I spent any time in during Fall 2014. What a sample size.

The Limeade Oreo: 

Overall Flavor: The Limeade Oreo is a Golden cookie with "Limeade" filling. It was my favorite Oreo variant in 2014, a shockingly crisp cookie that felt like a successful concept. Most of Oreo's fruit flavors underwhelm - the Limeade did not.  

Taste of Cookie: It's a Golden Cookie. Golden Cookies on their own aren't great, but function as adequate delivery mechanism for stronger frosting. This is one case where Golden was the appropriate choice. 

Taste of Creme: Unbelievable. Smooth, refreshing - like a glass of limeade! Wow!

Milk Taste-Test: I never dipped these in milk, but it feels unnecessary. Unless you put milk in your limeade. 

Gorgability: I did eat an entire package in one sitting. 

Rating: 4/5

Golden Oreos: Who Gives a Shit

History:
Golden Oreos are a no-brainer. Vanilla sandwich cookies are common in other cookie brands and there's zero reason for Oreo not to capitalize on that market. Unfortunately, whoever made Golden Oreos was also a no-brainer. Originally marketed as “Uh-Oh Oreos,” with Vanilla Cookies & Chocolate Creme, these cookies were rebranded Golden in 2007 and released with vanilla creme. Since that time they have taken up shelf space, underwhelming any self respecting snack cookie connoisseur.

The Golden Oreo

Cookie: The Vanilla cookie is the weakest in the Oreo catalog. It isn't fundamentally terrible - there are good uses of it - but as the carrying taste of the cookie it just doesn't please. Another problem I have is that it is not uncommon to pack of Golden Oreos or any Variant featuring golden cookies (Orange Creamsicle, Key Lime, Heads or Tails, etc.) and find yourself crunching down on a stale cookie. For whatever reason, Golden cookies just lack the quality craftmanship of the chocolate, graham, red velvet, and cinnamon cookies.

Creme:  Vanilla crème. Unfortunately, the flavor of a golden cookie is bland - it requires a strong frosting to make it work. Vanilla creme in standard amounts does not work. 

Milk Test: Milk only barely improves the Golden experience.

Gorgability: Given the standard (1x) creme and calorie count, Golden Oreos could be consumed in mass amounts. But I wouldn't recommend it.

Conclusion: 2 out of 5. 

Alternate Recipes:
I've heard you can use Golden Oreos in pie crust. I've never tried it.

Red Velvet Oreos: A Yearlong Valentine

History:
The Red Velvet Oreo was introduced in February 2015 to coincide with Valentine's Day. It is a wholly unique Oreo cookie, utilizing a 'red velvet chocolate' cookie with creme-cheese icing, neither of which have been used in other Oreo variants. It was made a permanent addition to the Oreo family in 2016. As such, one could say that it is to the Oreo family as Valentine's Day is to yearly holidays: something some people enjoy, but nobody's favorite.

The Red Velvet Oreo

Cookie: To my discerning buds, the Red Velvet cookie tasted only slightly different than the classic chocolate cookie. It does have a hint of 'red velvet' flavor, but nothing to write home about.

Creme: The special 'creme cheese' flavoring of the Red Velvet stuf is creamier in texture than traditional Oreo stuf. To its credit it does taste a bit like creme cheese icing. Like all Oreo Variants, there is 1.5x stuf in the Red Velvet Oreo. This allows for the creme cheese flavor to express itself.  One of Oreo's better variant icings. 

Milk Test: Milk did not significantly alter the enjoyability of the Red Velvet Oreo. However, one could see a dollop of whipped creme doing wonders for the cookie.

Goregability: A little too unique in flavor to gorge. It would make a decent desert, but I can't imagine mindlessly eating an entire package of them while watching Netflix. 

Conclusion:
3 out of 5. 

Alternate Recipes:

I have not experimented with the Red Velvet Oreo at this time.

Neopolitan Triple-Double Oreos: The Worst Idea Oreo Ever Had

History:

The Nepolitan Triple-Double Oreo was the last form of Triple-Double Oreo released. It made its debut in Summer 2011. I first tried the Nepolitan Triple-Double after finding them at Wal Mart in Westfield, Indiana. I' had been searching for a few weeks; it may well have been the first flavor I specifically set out to find.  I've always been a fan of Neopolitan; the sense that chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla are inherent partners in taste was ingrained in my mind early on. Not so with this Oreo. Not so.

The Neopolitan Triple-Double

Cookie: The Neopolitan's vanilla comes from its Golden cookies. Nothing out of the norm here, except for the fact that there are three cookies. It remains the sole 'Golden' cookie in the Triple-Double family. 

Creme: The Neopolitan Triple Double's greatest weakness is the Strawberry creme. Horrendous. Oreo's most consistent problem with its fruit flavorings are that they are oftentimes too sweet. This strawberry is the poster child. It tastes like sugar. Not a hint of fake Strawberry.  Unfortunately, the Strawberry is not balanced out by the general blandness of Oreo's chocolate flavor filling or Golden cookie. Instead, these two already inferior tastes mesh with the nasty strawberry to make a truly lousy cookie. 

Milk Test: While the cookie dipped, it was not helped by the addition of milk. 

Goregability: The triple-doubles are, in general, too large to be properly gorgeable. The Neopolitan isn't even worth trying.

Conclusion:
1 out of 5. 

Alternate Recipes:

Why bother.

Regular Oreos: Milk's Favorite Cookie

There is no better baseline for establishing my critical Oreo eye than the classic Oreo.



History:

A brief history of Milk's favorite cookie. Oreos were first introduced by Nabisco in 1912. Contrary to most Nabisco propaganda, Oreos were not the first biscuit of their type. Hydrox, a similar-but-inferior product beat them to the market in 1908 (Contemporary Hydrox suck). Despite being late to bat, the Oreo far surpassed the popularity of Hydrox. They've gone strong for over 100 years. Wow!

Wikipedia also claims Oreos ended the Cold War, but that's because I just updated it to say so. They probably took it down by now.

The Regular Oreo:

The Regular Oreo, or "Classic," consists of two chocolate wafers with a little bit of vanilla creme sandwiched between them. It's a little larger than bite sized, but don't let that stop you. I don't. I once almost choked to death on an Oreo, which was really stupid but would have been oddly poetic.

Cookie: the classic Oreo chocolate wafer is, in my mind, the weakest part of the cookie. That is not to say that it's bad, it just isn't special. If you eat too many, it starts to taste like cardboard. When separated from the creme and mixed into other desserts it becomes an asset, but as it stands the classic chocolate wafer is just fine. Fine, but nothing notable on its own.

Creme: The oddly chalky texture aside, classic creme is delicious. The "vanilla" in the vanilla creme is not noticeable, but that doesn't stop the stuf from being good.

Milk Test: Perfectly designed. People shit on GMO's and chemically modified crops, but the Oreo is a perfect testament to why we should design all our food in laboratories. The cookie does not sog too quickly, but does soften enough to make the texture pleasantly semi-mush.

Goregability: The package argues that 3 Oreo cookies is a serving, totaling in at 160 calories. So about 53 calories a piece. This implies that a 2000-a-day diet would really allow for only one serving of oreos, but if you skip breakfast or eat a light lunch you can easily incorporate, like, half a package into that diet and only break your limit by a hair. The Classic Oreo tastes good enough to accomplish a binge but is not so flavorful enough to become unpleasant. Truly, the world's most gorgeable cookie.

Conclusion:
4 out of 5. 
Truly, the classic Oreo is a testament to two mediocre ingredients creating something "more." It is infinitely edible. The start of it all, and still an essential member of the Oreo family.

Alternate Recipes:

Obviously too many to count! Regular Oreo is all sorts of awesome for mixing. I'll incorporate these into a future entry.

How I Review an Oreo

Taste of Cookie plain: How do the cookies hold up? Are they delicious without crème? Inevitably a perfect split will leave you with one creme-less cookie, so they'd better be worth it.

Taste of Creme plain: Does the crème have a pleasant texture to it? Does the crème taste good on its own? Would I eat a bucket if packaged separately?

Milk Taste-Test: Does it do better in milk? Worse? Is it worth it?

Gorge-ability: Would I eat an entire package in one sitting?

Conclusion and Ranking.

Oreo Ranking Scale

1 (No thank you) 

2 (A noble effort)

3 (Average Oreo)

4 (Oreos worth buying on a weekly basis)

5 (Both excellent, and unique)


There you have it. 

Oreo Family

Let's break it down.

"Oreos" are a franchise food. Plenty of product exists containing Oreos. Some good, some bad, most at the very least edible. For the purpose of Bloreog, I'll be focusing on the Oreo Cookies. These cookies can be broken down into families for easy tagging & description.

Basic Product Families: 

Classic (Chocolate cookie. Vanilla Creme).

Regular

Double-Stuf

Reduced Fat

Golden (Gold cookie)

Golden

Double-Stuf Golden

Golden w/ Chocolate

Triple Double (3 Cookies, Varying Cremes)

Triple Double

Mint/Chocolate Triple Double

Neopolitan Triple Double

Mega Stuf (3x Creme)
Regular
Golden
Heads or Tails

Thins (wafer-sized cookies)

Regular

Golden

Mint

Variants (any variant of the traditional formula, usually 1.5x stuft) 

Perennials (Permanent Variant Flavors)

Chocolate Oreo

Peanut Butter Oreo

Reeses Cup Oreo

Mint Creme 

Lemon Twist
Heads or Tails

Seasonal (Chocolate Cookie, Colored Vanilla Creme)

Spring

Summer

Halloween

Winter

Dessert-based:

Cookie Dough

Root Beer Float

Cookies & Creme

Key Lime Pie

Limeade

Red Velvet

Gingerbread
Candy Corn

Birthday Cake

Strawberry Milkshake (2010)

Orange Cremesicle

Blizzard Creme

Brownie Batter

Banana Split

Pumpkin Spice

Cotton Candy

S”mores Oreo

Marshmellow Crispie

Toasted Coconut

Filled Cupcake

Cinnamon Bun

Berry Berry Sherbert
Rainbow Shrbert

Fruit-based 

Caramel Apple Oreo

Fruit Punch

Watermelon

Rainbow Sure, Bert!

Berry

Chocolate-Covered (Oreos released with chocolate covering)

Fudge Cremes: (one cookie, dab of creme, covered in chocolate)

Coconut

Raspberry

Birthday Cake

Mint

Regular

Golden

~*White-Chocolate Holiday Oreo*~

Bloreog

I love Oreos.

I love them fresh, right out of the package. Those new re-sealable packages are nice and all, but once air hits the Oreo it's all over. Fresh is where it's at. Fresh is what I want. I love all types of Oreos. I love them plain, deep fried, covered in chocolate. I'll eat them split or whole. Heck, they're the most versatile snack dessert out there. Gooey marshmellow oreo bars, Oreo brownies, the elusive Oreo Curro, Orero Ice Creme Bars, Oreo Blizzards. All of these foods are good on their own; they do what they do. But with Oreos added in...shazam.

It goes without saying that I love dipping them into milk. I'm lactose intolerant, whatever: Oreos are just the best.

For the last ten years I have actively pursued every new flavor released by Nabisco. Watermelon (Summer 2012), Fruit Punch (2013), Gingerbread (2014/2015) Banana Split (2014), Neapolitan Triple-Double (Fall 2011). Strawberry Sundae (2010). Memories. Some good, some bad. Always Oreo.

I've always kept a dossier in my mind about which Oreos are worth eating and which aren't worth eating. After so long, and so many delicious combinations of cardboard cookie and chaulky creme, Ithink it's time to actively write about them.

Bloreog will chronicle each flavor of Oreo I have had the pleasure to try, past, present, and future. Each entry will include a review, availability, history, and maybe even fun recipes.