Waffles & Syrup Oreo don't make me Waffle, I'm Syr-upting with Thoughts About These Cookies!*

Waffles & Syrup Oreo

History: Waffles & Syrup Oreos were first leaked as a concept in February 2017 - and nobody believed it. Jelly Donut, Mississippi Mud Pie, Firework? All leaked at the same time, all believable. But Waffles & Syrup? Such a complex mixture of flavors seemed a little foolhardy for Nabisco. Could a creme-based sandwich cookie really capture the texture, the experience, of the absolute finest breakfast desert? Well, those wackos at Nabisco really tried. Waffles & Syrup Oreos were released at Albertsons stores in May 2017, a compliment to the Jelly Donut breakfast flavor released nationwide. Albertsons are largely located west of the Mississippi, and none are in Indianapolis. For the first time ever I ordered a package of Oreos online, paying 3x the cost of store-bought cookies. Worth it?

Cookie: Like their Jelly Donut brethren, Waffles & Syrup Oreos feature a standard Golden cookie. My thoughts on these are well documented at this point. Here, the Golden flavor once again makes for an unwelcome addition, too bland to compliment the creme but just, well. Golden cookies only harm, never help a variant flavor because they just suck.

Creme: Ah, the selling point. It's another double-flavor, two-texture variant. This time a smidge of 'syrup' flavor is surrounded by 'waffle' flavor. You've read this far, but here's the real review: disappointing. I felt the same way about Jelly Donut in that the primary flavor 'waffle' is basically traditional Oreo creme, while the middle flavor isn't quite strong enough to feel present. There's a slight aftertaste that is roughly the same as that of an Eggo Waffle, but the actual flavor of the creme is essentially non-existent. In the scale of "gross" to "great," this falls squarely in the middle, which is just too bad.

To illustrate I used a bit of scrap paper to draw the first-ever "Bloreog Scale™."

As you can see, "Swedish Fish" oreos were and AWESOME IDEA but also GROSS. Candy Corn Oreos were a BLAND IDEA and also, GROSS! Red Velvet Oreos? AWESOME + GREAT! Firework Oreos? BLAND but GREAT. I mean, obviously this scale is kind of broken because I didn't put any thought into placing the dots into an actual scale to express *how* awesome or bland or great or gross each cookie is but I hope you get the point: Waffle & Syrup Oreos were probably not worth $10**

Goregeability: I was fine after two. I'm not sure I'll ever need to eat anymore.

3/5.

*Note: My wife said this is the worst title I've ever written.
** Note2: It was totally worth the $10, are you kidding?

Jelly Donut Oreoh whatever I'm tired of trying and apparently so are they

Jelly Donut Oreo

History: JELLY. DONUT. OREOES. The third flavor to rely on the two-texture model introduced with the Creme-Filled Cupcake. This time a soft  jelly filling is surrounded by a rather tasteless 'glaze sugar' flavor. Jelly Donut Oreo is the first of a series of 'breakfast' flavored releases, to be followed by Waffles & Syrup and Mocha Oreos. I hope those are more distinct.

Cookie: A Golden Oreo, tasteless, kind of bland, bad aftertaste, whatever.

Creme: The two-type Oreo is one I'm hoping they get right someday.  Jelly Donut is interesting, but not successful. The flavor of the 'jelly' is memorable but the 'glaze' just doesn't taste like much of anything. So it doesn't approximate the taste of the jelly donut, nor does it really even taste like a jelly Oreo. I'm not sure why Nabisco is having so much trouble mixing flavors, but here we are.

Gorgability: A bit disappointing. one is enough.

Verdict: 2/5

Coconut Creme Oreo Thins Won't Make You Feel Coconuts

Coconut Creme Oreo Thins

History: Back in Fall 2015 they released "Coconut Creme Oreos," regular oreos with Golden cookies and coconut creme. There were bits of coconut in the creme. I liked them; not 'forever keeper' Oreos, but interesting. Apparently I was alone. I saw coconut creme oreos in clearance aisles at Target for months afterwards, and saw hundreds of packages while volunteering at a food pantry in May 2016. I was surprised they went with this as the second original flavor for the Thins line.

Cookie: A chocolate cookie thin cookie. Delicious; flavorful, but not overwhelming.

Creme: Coconut flavor, without the coconut texture. I'm actually a big fan of the coconut texture, and I don't think that the flavor itself translates as well without it. There's little reason to buy a package of these over a package of plain, mint, or even salted caramel Thins.

Gorgability: Just forgettable. I brought a package to work and barely anyone ate any.

Verdict: 1/5

Salted Carmel Oreo Thins are Fine.

Salted Caramel Oreo Thins

History: The first flavor released exclusively to the "Thin" line, Salted Caramel struck me as a sure-fire hit. And it is! It is available at Meijer stores.

Cookie: A thin golden. My usual critique of the Golden cookie stands.

Creme: Salted Carmel is hard to get right - a lot of attempts end up either too sweet or flavorless. Nabisco's done it right here. It's just the right caramel flavor. The only problem is that the combination with Golden cookie creates a long-lasting aftertaste that is distinct and unpleasant.

Gorgability: A few of my coworkers couldn't stop eating these. I was pretty content after just one.

Verdict: 3/5