Fruity Crisp Oreo: This Summer's Most Honest Cookie

Fruity Crisp Oreo

History: The Fruity Pebble Oreo was released in June 2016, in tandem with the previously reviewed Blueberry Pie Oreo. Cereal flavors aren't unprecedented; a Rice Crispy Oreo was released in 2014, and was actually very decent. Fruity Pebble Oreo seems strange, but - well, heck. Read on.

Cookie: Just more Golden. Nothing to see here. Move along.

Creme: Like many of the more "complex" specialty flavors, these feature a thicker creme than traditional Oreo, which has a chalkier creme. The creme tends to stretch, if you try. Which I did. I'm not sure you would, but for an Oreo reviewer, everything is up for consideration. Anyway, this creme is pretty delicious. A coworker pointed out it tastes like Fruity Pebble Breakfast bars, and he was right.on.the.money. Now, those taste like a bowl full of Fruity Pebbles + Milk, so if that's your only experience, just go on this. Unlike many fake flavors (lookin' at you, Blueberry / Strawberry / Watermelon), this flavor is very on-point and precisely what you would expect. That said, this also suffers from the 'too sweet' problem, wherein your mouth feels like you ate a spoon of sugar rather than a cookie. But that's the price you pay for speciality Oreos, I suppose.

Milk Taste-Test: My lactose intolerance has become so intense that I can't actually have milk with Oreos anymore. I'll make an exception when an exceptional cookie comes along, but this is not the cookie.

Gorgeability: Far, far too sweet. So sweet I could smell them through the ziploc full of cookies that were sitting in my metal filing cabinet at work today. I would never gorge these.

Verdict: 3 / 5. Sure, it's a bit too sweet, but the taste is actually really pretty decent. For a novelty Oreo, it tastes precisely how you would expect it to. And, heck. I like Fruity Pebbles pretty well.

Blueberry Pie Oreos Really Blew-Berry My Previously High Expectations by Being Lame.

Blueberry Pie Oreo

History: Blueberry Pie Oreos were released June 6th, limited to Target stores. Honestly? You'll probably be able to find them back-stocked for a few months to come. I recently helped at a food bank, and while sorting food found boxes and boxes of unpurchased Coconut Creme Oreos. This was after finding them at my local Target store for several months post-release. What I'm saying is, you shouldn't rush out to try these, both because there will be an ample supply but also because demand will be low - they're not very good.

Cookie: Point-blank: who gives a shit about Golden cookies. I know I don't. You know I don't. I know you might think you do, but you actually don't. They're definitely the lamest part of this cookie, bland, tasteless.

Creme: Have you ever eaten a Blueberry pop-tart? I hope you have, because those are pretty great. The Blueberry creme in the Blueberry Pie Oreo is like a lighter, less intense version of that filling, but with the nasty Oreo finish common in fruit varieties. That said, this creme isn't "bad," so much as it is totally unremarkable.

Milk Taste-Test: My lactose intolerance has become so intense that I can't actually have milk with Oreos anymore. I'll make an exception when an exceptional cookie comes along, but that is not this cookie.

Gorgeability: Not happening.

Verdict: 2 / 5 Oreos.  This was an unexceptional Oreo. I appreciate Nabisco branching into further fruit flavors; perhaps someday we will finally see Cherry, which I once had an intensely emotional dream about. But that's a story for another day.